Unraveling Me - Part ONE

This whole month has been an incredibly emotionally freeing journey. Cutting through the surface of my life - past the insecurities, intentions, inspirations - and digging deep into my past, getting ever closer to the core of who I am. I'm not there yet. Maybe some day. But unraveling my past... has given me more peace than I ever thought possible. To think, this whole thing started as a weight-loss journal. I guess you could say I have lost a lot of... "weight".

I know this makes some people uncomfortable. But it's important that I get it out. Not only for me... but I know that from time to time it helps other people out. So it's worth the hit and miss to me to share these experiences.

I read this comic book a few weeks ago called "the Tale of One Bad Rat." By Bryan Talbot. I've never read it before, in many ways I think I've been avoiding it. But I ran across it at the library here in Carlsbad and checked it out. I never expected to be so overwhelmingly moved by the book. Even awakened. I'd always thought I'd dealt with the issues that come with being molested as a child, it turns out there were some still buried deep. And it all came pouring out with each page I read. Cathartic only begins to describe it. A few days later I met a woman with a lot of that in common, who I could talk to about it. And it's been one emotional domino falling after another. It has calmed my mind like nothing before.

What has come from it, is another change. From an issue that I've almost been afraid to share. I've been terrified for years of being alone with children. It's my greatest shame. Not because I have bad thoughts, or bad intentions... but because I'm terrified that someone would think I had. I started to realize it when Misty had her first child. I would spend time at Misty's house when we were dating and Catherine would crawl all over me, asking me to read her books or play peek-a-boo... normal kid stuff. And if Misty would leave the room, I would start to panic and get very uncomfortable. I talked to Misty about it years later, only to find out she was just as terrified in the opposite... that she could never truly trust any man around her children. It sounds like the same root anxiety.

I had hoped it would go away with time. But even in my last relationship, I was afraid to be around her children alone. Afraid that something innocent might appear inappropriate. I felt ashamed... for something I had no reason to feel shame. That's the cruelest part of being a victim of molestation. Because the victim feels shame for something that should never have happened, that was never their fault. Noone should ever feel shame over something as innocent as being around children. And here I was terrified of life's most innocent experience. My heart was constantly at war with itself. I am so good with kids, but at the same time I was so afraid. It wasn't till my sister had her baby that I finally started to change. I didn't feel uncomfortable at all being around Katelyn. In fact it felt more natural than anything in the world to play with her. It made me feel normal finally.

And now I'm here, doing caricatures at a kids theme park. Playing with kids for a living. The more I make them laugh the more successful I am. The more I entertain and make them feel special, the better the whole experience is. It feels good to finally be comfortable with that.

So something is happening right now with me. Good things. And I've got plans for the future in regards to all of this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do exactly... just that it's something I'm supposed to do. Every sign points to that. It's the same thing that pulled me to do caricatures for the Children's hospital. I love that feeling. Because it means... my life is about to change.

Unraveling Me - Part TWO

I wanted to make a second post regarding this topic, to illustrate the other side of things. The other side of being molested. The upside... if you can call it that? I basically stopped growing emotionally from the age of 8 to the age of 20 when I started dating Misty (the first time). I stayed locked in that place for all those years. Holding onto the childhood that made me feel normal. Sex confused me, sexuality even more so. I never questioned my heterosexuality, but I seemed to be confused as to what was appropriate and what was not.

So instead, I just stopped. It wasn't till a girl "picked me" out of the crowd and sort of taught me what was 'normal' - though her definition of normal was painfully scewed I later realized. To that point, I had developed my whole perception of dating, love, sex and relationships on television and books and friends and aquantances. So I had an ultra-idealized view of love and women. Which led to a lot of heartache and disappointment.

But what did come from being locked in my childhood was that I was able to hold onto my creativity and childlike enthusiasm for all of these years. I realized today that I have been writing stories since I was 8 years old. I just didn't start writing stuff down till much later. Very elaborate and original stories. Stuff that would still be engaging if I developed them today. I remember hours and hours of laying in bed dreaming up new worlds and new lives for myself. Where "I" was normal. And it seemed the common theme in all of those stories was helping other people find normalcy in my world. Funny. I think that may still be common to me. lol.

I never let go of that though. As many times as I thought I had, I never gave up dreaming. Nor my youthful passion towards everything I do. I didn't become bitter until a couple of years ago. And I think I've mostly brushed all of that off again. It seems to me that a lot of people slide into spite and apathy by high school or thereafter and hold onto it for a long time. But for all my ups and downs I stayed pretty enthusiastic about living.

"Everything happens for a reason..."

You hear people say that a lot. It starts to sound cliche' after a while. But it's absolutely true. I could not tell the stories I tell without these events (and others) in my life. I would not have held onto my love for 'escaping' into my own worlds if I'd not had something to 'escape' from. It's a blessing and a curse. Imprisoned in my own heart for years, like a bird in a cage... and now set free into the world. It takes a while to learn how to really spread your wings. But I think I'm getting the hang of it now.

--Will

Watts Atelier - WEEK SIX

Storyboarding and Sequential art

Today was such a weird day. Not really with the classes. Though it was strange too. I've been in a funk the last couple days. I've been sick lately, and exhausted from work. And I'm still sad about Brenna. I have a lot of sensitivity issues with suicide. And I guess it triggered something. I spent a couple hours in the pool at my apartment yesterday watching dozens of hot air balloons fly past overhead. Something about needing to be weightless. Anyways, it seems that all the momentum I'd built up with my sketching was sort of sapped. I didn't draw at all in my caricature class, I just watched Court demo some cool marker rendering techniques, which happens to be the same thing I'd been doing on my own lately... but now I know how to do it right, lol.

The storyboarding class, like I said, was a bit weird. Ron wasn't there. And neither was two-thirds of the class. lol. Doug went over standard shots for dialogue and how they can convey emotion and tension. And then we storyboarded a scene from "GroundHogs day"... or I should say everyone else did and I just sort of futzed about. Ended up crashing out on the couch in the lounge and chatting with Brian for the remainder of the class. Turns out he's got the funk too, apathy abounds at Seaworld, as much seemingly as Legoland. He's not had much time or enthusiasm to do his side work either.

We ended up with this fascinating discussion that everyone joined in on, about working with other artist. In the studio environment and such. How quickly an artist can grow when working around and challenged by other driven artists. Which led into this discussion about careers. I've been frustrated with the fact that so many artists come to the school to become comic book artists and go into other fields because they pay better and are more reliable. It's a little disheartening. But in a way it makes me more confident in what I want to do. Digging through the reasons for these alternate routes, I'm finding that none of them seemed to have focus about what they wanted to do. They just wanted to do comic books, they didn't know how, why or where to start. And given that, it's very near impossible to make it happen. So segueing into these other industries makes perfect sense. I'm not going in blind to what I want to do, and I've got a clearly defined plan for myself. Backed up by years of research, and interviewing other artists that have gone down the path I plan to follow. I think I've got a good chance of doing it eventually. If it takes ten more years I'll stick with it. Because it's where my heart is.

On a bright note, I found out that Ron is planning to do comics again... very soon. I wonder if our talk last week had anything to do with it? It looks like a pretty incredible forray into the industry, with a very big name. Hopefully it will afford opportunities for more artists from the school, in the way he's done with conceptual design and storyboarding.

Figure Quick-sketch.

This class was equally frustrating artistically. It felt like my first week all over again. Drawings so roughly handled and uncontrolled. For a few minutes there I thought I was on to something, then stepping back I realized I was totally off. The bright spot of the night was talking with Jeff. He sat down at my easel for the last couple poses of the night. And he really got onto me about being so sloppy with my drawings. It's always been a big problem for me, and today was especially bad. He finally saw some of my comic book stuff last week, and so I think he's got a better perspective on what I need now. He started out wanting to do comics too, and particular a painter like Frank Frazetta. He did pretty damn good too, doing lots of stories in that style for Heavy Metal magazine and the like. Now he's working to be a fully rounded artist, focusing more on fine arts and teaching.

His critique of my work tonight was mostly that I'm jumping around the pose, instead of working through it and creating the structure. And locking all the lines together. I tend to leave big gaps all over the place, and skip too quickly to shading to compensate for my impatience. The truth is, if I took the time to slowly lay in all the structure I'd finish the drawings a LOT quicker. I've always known that, but have had trouble knowing how to fully draw through the structure. It looks like that's something I will need to really work on with my own time. Memorizing the rhythm's, and redrawing other artists drawings, and learning anatomy. I've been too lazy/busy/distracted to do that so far. But that's what it's going to take.

Discipline.

I'm not as frightened of discipline as I once was. I used to think it was something I had to force myself to learn. But since I've been here I've already become more disciplined. Not from want or force... but because it's what's needed. I'm just trying to keep up with some of these guys, I'm trying to squeeze in all these things I love into a small space. It's like I've got so much potential here that I have to scramble to gather it all in and keep it from getting away from me. It always seemed in Lubbock that I had to find a reason to work, here I have to decide how to work. And I don't know if it's necessarily the place. Because I get the feeling that this inspiration would carry over to pretty much anywhere I go. I just needed to be exposed to what it looks like. I needed to see what it looks like to get "tons" of work done. Instead of going by the anemic definition of the word "ton" I'd developed in my head working alone all these years. But I'm only half way there. I'm still working off the definition that I fit into here... there's another level... fitting into Ron, Francis' and Jeff's definition of a "ton" of work.

Anyways, after class, my friend Ray and I stuck around for more than an hour talking with Jeff. It was a fascinating and inspirational conversation. Talking about where we're headed, and what we need to think about down the road. And then hearing about the origins of the school, and the history of some of these fantastic artists teaching and attending the classes. And really getting insight into the motivation of the school. It's incredible really, this school isn't funded, accredited, or government sponsored. It's existence is based solely on it's reputation of creating incredible artists. You go... until you get good. No grades, no GPA, no diploma. You're judged by your ability to get work with the skills that you learn. That's how it should be. The school has grown exponentially with each crop of artists coming out of it, going out into the industries and inspiring others to come back.

When you look at Universities it's almost sickening. When you think about it, there is no real motivation for them to make you a good artist. There's motivation to get you to pass and move on to the next class. Schools aren't judged by their ability to get you work or a career, it's based on their ability to get you to graduate. So there's no reason to challenge someone with the curriculum, only to dumb it down to get more people through the door. Teachers are tenured, with no reason to grow or challenge. I can't tell you how many artist come to this school and say they were the best in their class in college. Who wants that? That can't be a good sign - that you come into a school and there's no peers to challenge/inspire you to become better. Then they come here and get their ass kicked cause now they're the bottom of the class. That's what you want, somewhere to grow. There's no accountability in Universities. They want your money and want to get you through the system. I'm sure there are exception's, but my experience at Tech didn't do much to sway my opinion.

So my camera is still broke. So no new pictures. I did scan one of my color sketches from my mini-sketchbook at Kinkos the other day when I was scanning some drawings for a commission that I'm working on. I had a couple more but somehow the files were corrupted. These are my first real color sketches since I started these classes by the way. The tiling that drawing like this enables, really lends itself to doing color well. I wish I could show some of my other stuff, I'm really happy with where all this is going.



--Will

Misty called me tonight. Her best friend Brenna Huff killed herself. I'd never heard her cry like that before. It broke my heart. I've known both of them since they were sixteen. I wish I were there. I wish I could do something. I can't even imagine how much it must hurt. ...Not that there's much I could do.

I can never understand how having no life at all seems better than the life that you have. What makes pain so unbearable that a new day can't fix? I suppose it was because She never seemed to be able to accept the love that was given to her. What horrible pain caused that... we may never know. It breaks my heart. Breaks my heart.

Watts Atelier - WEEK FIVE

My camera broke. Finally. Again. It makes me sad. So no more pictures. Unless someone out there has an extra one laying around they might want to send me. What really sucks is that this was definitely a breakthrough week. I made a fantastic leap in quality, I think. Both in the storyboarding class and especially in the figure quick-sketch. But alas, no pictures.

Storyboarding and Sequential art

We started the class with a warm-up scene from Chinatown. It was an exercise in economy of shots. The idea was to use as few shots as possible. I got it down to 3 sequence shots. Which was pretty good. I got a lot of compliments on my compositions. I was really trying to frame shots up so that I was using the foreground and background to the best of my ability. Then we saw the actual scene and it turns out I was close, but could have gone a step further and only had one camera shot. Lol. They basically set it up so that the camera stays still and the actors converse facing each other directly in front and all the other story is told in the background. Pretty cool. I wouldn't have thought to go that simple, but it really worked well for the emotions of the scene.

Later in the class I showed Ron my old comic from 97'. The flipbook with My story on one side and Francis Tsai's art on the other. He seemed highly amused because it was some of the oldest stuff he'd ever seen of Francis'. He said he planned to possibly use it for blackmail, lol. Then we got into an interesting discussion about career paths. He asked what I wanted to do with comics, and I think it was sort of a trick question, to see if I was in it for the money or what not. Which I'm not, I mean if I do a story and someone wants to do a movie of it I will definitely consider it. But it's not my "purpose" for doing any particual story. It turns out that drawing comic books was the reason he became an artist. And it's also why he's spent the last 12 years learning to be an even better artist. But he sounded a bit disappointed that he has been so busy in that time doing "other" things - which are good things - like game design, movie work, illustration, fine-arts, teaching (thousands of artists around the world are thankful for that one, myself included) and the occasional comic work. But it has kept him from really focusing on the one thing that started it all.

It's sort of a viscious cycle. I've seen so many artists become artists just to make comic books, and they go into other fields as a "springboard" or "back-up" to doing them, and they never get around to actually doing them. Whether it's artists at seaworld, or game designers, or anyone really. It's a tough field to make money in. And once you start adding other stuff into the equation, like a wife, house and kids... well it's damn near impossible to make a go of it. Because it takes a dedication and relentless passion. Not just a love of doing it, but actually following through and putting stuff out there. Year after year after year. And after you've put enough stuff out there, people start to respond. But that follow through is what most people can't afford.

Which brings me to the question of storyboarding. Every week I become more convinced that I can do it, and probably do it well, and make decent money. But I'm frightened at the thought of putting off my dream another year or two. Because it's never just a year or two. I believe if you want to do something you should do it. Which is hard to argue, when I've not really done much since the drama in 03'. I just keep getting better and better, but not actually doing anything with it. Which is another of those viscious cycles. The DARK AGES story I did in the 97' flip book had the worst art I've ever published in it. But I loved doing it at the time. And I believe if I'd not gotten caught up in becoming "good" I would have kept doing it, even if it hadn't sold, because I loved doing it that much. Instead it's been an endless battle to get better. And seeing some of the artists in the school, it truly is a never ending battle. Not to say one should stop growing. But there's definitely a point where you have to stick to a level and follow through with it for a while.

Anyways, no decision right now on going the storyboarding route. I'll see how the winter goes. See if I'm able to get done what I think I can. If that's the case, I'll feel a lot more inclined to take more chances.

Figure Quick-sketch.

Not much to say.. or show. It was a great class, as always. The model was cool, he had a really muscular body which was cool to draw. Usually we get toned models but not really ripped. So this was different.


I do have a sketch from my sketch book that I can share. My roommate has a scanner but it's kind of crappy. It's been a few months since I tried coloring with my prizma markers. And it was before I'd learned about core shadows, which are the peakmost shadows on the scale. They're the one's that are at the peak of the form as it is rolling. And I'd never known to color those darkest and roll to light from there. I'd always done it the opposite way. So my drawings always looked a bit flat and cartoonish. So I was sketching on my lunch hour between classes today and I had that realization. Some pretty cool results. Though the scanner kind of washed out a lot of the coolness of it. oh well.



--Will

happiness,and happenstance

I've had two almost simultaneous break-throughs this week emotionally. Which is ironic, because this has been one of the toughest weeks for me emotionally since I moved to San Diego. I've been really lonely - best friends getting married, ex-girlfriends moving on, happy couples everywhere - that sort of thing. It always seems to get to me at least once a year. And not having many people around for the occasional hug gets to me too. You wouldn't think it would be the little things like that to finally bring you down. But it has been for me.

Which brings me to the break-throughs.

Living with my roommate has really opened my eyes up to another way of looking at things. He's not deep and introspective, he's not trying to fix people or understand the world - but at the same time he DOES understand the world. He knows what people want, and he knows how to make people interested in him, or at least intrigued and entertained. He knows how to read people and keep his momentum, and how to endear himself to them. It's something I've been learning to do at the park. You can't get into emotions at the park, you have to entertain people, make them laugh, endear them to you. It's the only way to get sales. And it's not insincere. It's honestly taking an interest in someone. And learning quickly how they want to interact.

I realized tonight that in some ways I used to be more interested in someone's problems than in them. I wanted to help them. Because I thought everyone, to some degree, needed help and that I could do that for them. And the sick logic was that someday they'd appreciate me for that. But more often than not it made people want to keep their distance. And it most definitely never worked the way I wanted it to. What I wanted was love and appreciation. And only in rare instances, often after years of friendship, would that come to payoff. Fixing people was my deal before. I've written about it a few times here. And I've worked really hard to shake that off, to the point where I think it's reasonably in check. But it has left me lost, and wondering how to interact with people.

Until the other night at the party.

That night I suddenly saw the correlation between the real world and what I've learned from my roommate and at the park. I approached complete strangers and talked to them with no agenda, other than to be genuinely interested. And I would take their interests and reverberate it with my own life experience to find a way that I could relate to their passions. And in certain cases I was even able to give them insight into a part of them they'd never thought about. It was incredible. Suddenly I saw a new look on people's faces that I'd never seen before from a person I'd just met. One of curiosity. I got some really great business contacts and even a girl's phone number.

I've been growing to appreciate the world that I always turned my back to before. Idle chatter, mindless joking, sarcasm, aloofness, subtlety, flirting, and all the ways the world at large interacts. It always seemed pointless to me... insincere. Because I didn't understand it before. If you can believe it? But I'm starting to now. And I'm starting to enjoy it. The fine art of just "hanging out."

Which brings me to the "Why?" The second break-through. Why did I believe that solving problems was the way to get people to like me? Why did "hanging out" seem like such a wasted and futile effort to me for all these years? Why has it made me feel alone all this time?

I've been talking to a girl lately. I don't know if anything will come of it, but it has definitely been an enlightening experience. Like my first relationship, she and I have a very traumatic experience in common. We were both molested as children... for several years. It's been a long time since I've cried about it. Which probably is what gave me a false sense of resolution. The funny thing is, it's not the only thing she and I have in common. Since then we have both been hopelessly longing for love, marriage and children. It's all I ever wanted, and so with she. But what I never put together was why I wanted those things. It wasn't just to prove to myself that I was normal, though in the beginning that may have had something to do with it. It was because I wanted to protect them. To control what I could not for myself. I wanted to make things right.

Some part of me knew that. Even as a little child.

It's a misguided and desperate remedy. Those things won't take away my past. I know that now. Love and marriage should be for a very different reason. And for all those that I've tried to help along this road... it was the only thing I knew to do. To heal them, the way I wanted to be healed. The way I wanted someone to do for me. And I feel blessed that I have that power, if needed. It makes me a better tool for God when he chooses to use me. But it's time for me to become a part of the world again. It's time for me to let the pain go.

I got that hug by the way. Lots of them. At the party. It was... a good night.

--Will

STAR WARS: The backstroke of the west



Badly translated star wars. Not that the original ep 3 wasn't already a bit fuddled.

--Will

Kaman's Fest!

Gas is RIDICULOUS right now! I'm afraid to say that because I thought $2.50 a gallon was bad. That's the reason I switched from Seaworld to Legoland, so I would only have to fill up once a week instead of three times a week. I read the other day that SanDiego has the highest gas in the nation right now. I guarantee it's almost exclusively because of the tourist destinations.

ANYWAYS...



So I went to the end of the year party last night for Seaworld caricatures. It was my first beach party and bonfire. It was very cool. It seems like a lot of memories get made at this party each year. Ever since I started at Seaworld it seemed to be brought up at least a few times a day. I can see why. I showed up around 3:00 and was planning to leave about 6:30 to drive back to Encinitas for my class. But I realized somwhere about the time I was planning to leave that I was going to be missing the real party. So I decided to stay. That's two weeks in a row I've missed my caricature class, I feel really bad about it. But I'm glad that I stayed.

It's funny that the party was at the exact same spot that I went swimming for the first time in the pacific when we came out in 2000. Not only was it at dog beach in OB but the EXACT same place, lol. Anyways, we spent some time swimming, and then my friend Brian showed up and he and I spent a while catching crabs in the sand while everyone watched. We caught a bunch of big ones when it was just us, then when everyone else wanted to see we couldn't find anymore. It was pretty funny.

Looked through a bunch of sketchbooks, talked with a lot of people, met some really cool folks that draw comic books too that I hadn't met yet. Former employees and such. Then as the sun started to go down they started the cookout and we started the bonfire. It was pretty neat. Big open flames silhouetting everyone with waves rolling in the distance. Definitely an idealic moment. We played a bunch of games, most of them designed to make people throw up, which is always funny. The game I was conscripted into was to see who could eat a banana the fastest and then down a soda. I won of course, with my banana-devouring/soda-guzzling prowess that I've developed over the years. I won a really cool Superman iron-on and a weeble-wobble Madagascar penguin . Stoked!

It makes me sad to think that I might not see some of these people again. The summer went so quickly. It's like high school all over again. And it didn't really occur to me that this is sort of it. I mean, I'll see some people again, I've become really good friends with them and don't want to lose that. But others who were just fun to be around and added something new to the humor... I guess that's how it goes.

So it was an awesome party. Memorable. The Legoland party is Monday night, since there's only a handful of us left I somehow doubt it will have the same affect, lol. But I'm sure it will be good. There's some more greate photos in the
FULL ALBUM

--Will

Sketch Dump

Been a while since I posted any sketches. Little bit of everything here.

I've been listening to Johnny Cash lately, and I really dig his version of John Henry, very vivid visuals. Did a quick bunch of sketches of him. I'm trying to compose my sketches a lot more in my sketchbook. Creating montage's and purposeful images instead of a bunch of floating heads. I really love the way it gives more life to the drawings.


Did a few sketches of Stephen's character Reece from Osiris. Wanted to see if I could even do it. I'm stoked with how they turned out.


I was doing some random head sketches last night, trying to apply the tonal techniques to general face sketches. Ended up doing a pretty cool little Wolverine sketch in the corner, which I tried to expand on in the second page. Fun stuff.


Annie Hall

I got to meet Diane Keaton the other day at the park. She was riding the rides with one of her kids. I knew who she was, but for the life of me I couldn't remember seeing anything she'd been in. So I went and watched Annie Hall the other day for the first time. It's a great movie. I was surprised at how much I liked it. And I can see how it's influenced a LOT of movies and a TON of the leading actresses today.

Anyways, I did a quick sketch of her this morning before I turned the DVD back in. I think if I'd had a bit more time with the movie, cause I've been busy, I could've gotten a better likeness. But I think it turned out pretty cool. She's a really sweet lady by the way.



Caricatures

Nothing really to mention about these caricatures. (Although I've been drawing an unusual number of Elephants lately.. wonder what that's all about.) Just some from the last week. The first one is of a girl I drew at Mcgreggor's bar with Steve Fishwick and Court Jones and a bunch of other artists at sketch night last night. It was cute, not really exaggerated. Been doing too many cutsey theme park caricatures lately. Oh well.






I'll post some more sketches next week.

--Will

Perspective

This is interesting. One of my friends at Seaworld emailed me to say that he did a Google search for Perspective Tutorials and MINE came up No.1! Crazy, eh? I wish I had time to clean up all those lines a bit more, lol. And maybe expand on it and do some really good 2-point and 3-point versions of it, and go into some storytelling aspects of perspective. I've got all these great ideas for tutorials and haven't had the time to do them. Maybe one of these days.

The cool thing is, I've shown a handful of artists here this tutorial in person and then gave them the link to follow up on it, and within a few weeks I see a dramatic difference in their drawings and pages.

--Will

Watts Atelier - Week FOUR

Caricature Illustration

Skipped it. Too tired. Feel bad about it. But not that bad. Drew more than 100 caricatures this week. Mood for learning how to do it better: nillch(that's zilch and nill if you di'n know). Sure I missed something super important and will regret it for the rest of my life. Let you know next week what it was.

StoryBoarding and Sequential Art

Went over symbolism in camera shots. Establishing mood, emotion and working off societies preconcieved notions. Turns out 90% of storytelling is using the language that everyone already knows instead of trying to re-invent the wheel. I can handle that. Went over a lot of directors that I thought were unique and original only to discover they were copying someone else and putting a slightly different spin on it. Sometimes going as far back as the 1910's.

I lumped about this class. Was nigh unproductive. Mostly watched other people get critiques and watched Ron demo materials and reference with other students. Managed to do half my in-class assignment still. Homework was a scene from Big Lebowski (still haven't seen that one - that seemed to help me some in drawing the scene though). In class assignment was a scene from a storyboarding book. Both are linked below.



I finally got to see some of Ron's storyboards and they are far simpler than I imagined. Very quick and easy. And like I said I watched him work in some of the mediums you're supposed to use for storyboarding. And it's all stuff I've done before. Looks like a pretty easy gig. The only thing I'd be worried about is following all the directions correctly. I barely passed almost every art class I ever took because I could never do exactly what the teacher was asking for. That problem still plagues me today. It's why I've been self-employed off and on as much as I have. So I don't have to be reminded I have the attention span of a house-fly. I'd also be worried about getting burned out like I'm starting to get with caricatures. Too much of a good thing and all that.

Next week we need to decide which direction we want to go with our classwork. I'm supposed to decide if I want to do sequential art for my assignments or focus on Storyboarding. sigh. I guess I could do both, but I've barely been getting done what I already need to. I know most of what they're showing sequential artistically. But critiques on some more current work would prolly be helpful. Other hand: Storyboarding could be an easily accessible career for me with built in connections and job-opportunities. And the money. sheesh. Stupid money. It's the same dilema I've been caught in many times. But I'm not going into it right now.

Figure Quick-Sketch

I love this class more and more each week. I really like the way Jeff teaches. Not everyone does, but I really like him. Just watching him draw and hearing him transcribe his thought process aloud is some of the best training I've ever had. Here's some of his sketches (mark's demo is the reddish one). This is what I want to be able to do one day.



He draws the rythyms in completely and doesn't do any rendering until it's completely finished and only if there's enough time left in the pose. It looks almost like a photo negative. What's drawn is called a wire-frame, and you can almost see it bend and twist, and then you can lay any tonal technique over that, paints, tone, ink, clay... That's what's so versatile about the method.

It's basically what comic book inking is "supposed" to be, but it's been so muddled over the years by artists that didn't understand the process. So they use the techniques without the substance, and it just confuses things. The highest caliber comic artists are the ones that are able to pull it off, like Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Alex Ross, J. Scott Campbell, David Mack, and Travis Charest to name a few. There are many others, but these are the ones that I think of. For the first time in my life I'm doing drawings on my own in my sketchbook, unaided, and I get results that feel like I can understand the techniques of these pros. I've got years to go before I'm that high of a caliber. But I can see it happening. It's like I have the secret ingredient now, only it's not secret at all.

Here's some of my drawings from this week, they're mostly 2 minute and 5 minute poses...



Jeff did some demonstrations in my pad this week. It's pretty cool getting to watch him work up close like that and then getting to take it home to analyze and break down the process. I'm going to redraw them Friday when I've got time. He said that I'm doing really good so far. Especially for being just my second term. His main critique was that I'm still going too dark. You can see what he means on his demos, my sketches really stand out next to his cause they have REALLY dark lines.



--Will

Post-script

So I was talking to Brian after the Strybrdng/SeqArt class. And we had an interesting discussion - well about a LOT of stuff - but specifically about his experience with the school. He took some watts classes a few years back while he was simultaneously taking some life drawing classes at Palomar college at the same time. He said the Watts classes were awesome but he thinks he really got the most from going to both schools at the same time. The difference is, since Watts isn't certified/acredited, they don't have to follow a set curriculum, where Palomar does. But what palomar does focus on, which most public schools do is the more gestural/representative aspect of figure drawing. Drawing what you feel, drawing with emotion, drawing what you want. As opposed to Watts accuracy and technical efficiency. Both have their merits and downsides. I can see in some of the Watts students work extreme craftsmanship but not as much energy or heart. Mostly students that have grown up in the school. But the one's that have come in with their own body of experience seem to be able to apply the methods of the Atelier to their already developed style to an amazing degree. Brian mentioned that he, like some other students tried to submit their Atleier life-drawing stuff to Calarts and were rejected for that exact reason. Calarts wants animators, not someone that can depict realistic anatomy. They just want the impression of reality.

I guess it just goes to show that every artist needs a well rounded education. And should never put all their eggs in one basket.

COMICS JAM!!!

Brandon in Lubbock just emailed me that there will be a comic jam in Lubbock this month. SO spread the word everyone! Heres the info...

Monday, August 15th
8:00-11:00pm
J&B Coffee (26th & Boston)

GO! Have fun! Bring your friends and bring your sketchbooks and pencils!

--Will

Watts Atelier - Week THREE

Today was a good day. One of those days that reminds you why all the hard work and struggle is worthwhile. I definitely feel blessed in my pursuit of this dream. And I feel like my life is headed in a pretty incredible direction. One in which I haven't even the capacity to understand at this time. I don't know what it was really about today that was so awesome, I guess just realizing how far I've come, and that all this does make a difference. And I guess also realizing that I have made some good friends here, not to mention great OPPORTUNITIES!

Caricature Illustration

I was debating on going to this class. I'd had a very long week and was really enjoying just drawing in my sketchbook and didn't want to kill the flow I had going. But in the end I decided I needed to take advantage of every opportunity afforded me. And I'm really glad I went, despite the exhaustion. We went over the importance of specific facial features in caricatures. The demonstration was from photos of different celebrities, showing just one distinct facial feature and seeing how easily recognizable they were because of them. Like Nicholson's eyebrows, Stallone's mouth, etc. etc...

Then we picked out our own reference material and started doing some thumbnails and I ran across a cool picture of the three main characters from "Oh Brother Where art tough?" singing Man of constant Sorrow. One of my favorite movies, and favorite scenes. So I drew George Clooney a few times. And considering they're 5 minute thumbnail sketches I think I got his likeness pretty well. I had trouble, like before, with doing different kinds of exaggeration and fleshing each of them out. I have such short attention span that I'd rather just pick one and push through with it. But alas, this is probably better for me.



Anyways, I'm considering doing a caricature illustration in Oils, or something of these characters. Like I said, one of my favorite movies. But we'll see how it goes.

Storyboarding and Sequential Art

I actually did my homework for this class on time, so I was really stoked about that. I only had time to finish half my work last week, and so I was feeling a little guilty all class. This weeks class was pretty awesome. Our homework was to storyboard a scene from the movie Brazil. I had never seen the movie so I had no idea what the scene was about. And there were some key descriptors missing from the script and so my storyboard was a bit off. But so was everyone else's. It's a tough job it looks like. Granted, you usually have a bit more heads up on what's going on in a scene. Depending on the job I guess.

We actually went over some sequential art stuff today, stuff I'd heard briefly from Brian Stelfreeze but hadn't really had the opportunity to get him to elaborate on it. Part of it was on pacing, how the panels and word balloons on a page are like musical notes. How you can compose the page using vertical or horizontal long panels as a drawn out (forgive the pun) note, offset with quick small panels for a steady beat. You can, in essence, take a song and transcribe it into art in this form of pacing. Fascinating, eh? Sequential art can now be, not only an artform composed of words and pictures, but of music as well. I believe it is one of the most beautiful and complex artforms known to man. It is the only one, in fact, that requires the reader to use both sides of their brain at the same time.

The coolest part about the class today was that one of the teacher's was looking at my homework storyboards and the warm-up storyboards from today's class and he seemed really stoked on them. He even suggested I tighten them up a bit, maybe finish them out with inks and grayscale markers and submit them to www.famousframes.com to get work. I didn't hear them say anything like that to anyone else in class, so maybe that says something. I guess all the comic book stuff I've done over the years gives me an edge that most people don't have. It's something I'm considering.

He was telling me that they usually start you off doing storyboards for commercials. And it pays like 400 - 500 a day. And if you do well with that you start moving into storyboarding movies, which pays 65 and up, starting out. Then you get into doing 100 - 150 PER film (3 months). It's not easy work though. You're talking hundreds to thousands of sketches per job. 25 an hour I think is the number they're looking for. Which I know I can do, I just don't know if I'd get tired of it. And to get the higher end jobs I'd have to live in LA. *shudder*

The cool thing is, and I was talking to my friend Brian about this after class, it's pretty amazing how MANY artists get really good work through the connections they make at this school. I mean if you stick with it for 2 or 3 years you get REALLY good and it seems like everyone has a hook-up of some sort. Whether they own a game company, hire for a game company, are an established storyboard artist that gets asked to find OTHER storyboard artists, or comic book artists looking for inkers or cover artists, it goes on and on. And when you're ready people WANT to help you succeed. It's pretty incredible actually. It's that "who" you know part of the equation that everyone's looking for.

Figure quick-sketch

So before class started I was talking to Doug, one of my teacher's in the storyboarding class. And I was asking him how he got started. It sounds like he was wanting to be a comic book artist too at some point. He said he started taking classes like 5 years ago when Joe Chiodo was teaching the comic book class. And after a few years he started getting work from some of the other artists at the school and now he's a full time storyboard artist for different movies and such. Pretty cool. He was telling me that Michael Turner used to go to this school (and his Mom too apparently). Jeff started talking about him some too, said he's a really nice guy. So that's cool. It sounds like it was at the beginning of his career too, back in the Witchblade days or just before. He was telling me about some of the other comic artists that have been to the school too. Again, it sounds like getting in, and how successful you are, has to do with who you know.

So this class seems to be more of the same for me. Getting a lot better at keeping light with the pencil. I'm trying to get the entire figure drawn each time now, and I think next week I'm going to really push trying to do more abstract shapes to start the drawing with. Finding one overall shape that makes up the entire pose and starting with that. Like an "S" or a trapezoid or a square. Abstraction is a HUGE part about this technique. Instead of seeing a figure as a bunch of muscles and bone, seeing it as shapes, an "S" curve here, an oval here, seeing the shapes in negative space too does a great job adding accuracy. It's just about learning to take short-cuts like that. But all along using the principals of Reilly's abstraction so that everything is anatomically correct. It's complicated, yet simple, but it's definitely something that can't be easily explained in a single blog post.

The thing I really came to understand today is that I have a bit of a handicap, in that I don't understand anatomy at all. I mean, most artists don't. But the little I know is from redrawing comic book characters and figuring out anatomy through experimentation. And so my figures will always look a little off. Essentially, you can only abstract from what you already know. And so I am abstracting from the anatomy I DO know, and getting better at doing that all the time. But I will hit a wall at some point, because my knowledge base isn't deep enough. So I'm keeping that in mind for future classes. I figure from here on out I'll be taking 4 classes every term, Head drawing, Figure drawing, Figure quick-sketch and an anatomy class. Because they all work hand in hand. The anatomy teaches you how to draw accurately, the quick-sketch teaches you how to layout the figure accurately and give life to the drawing, the head drawing class teaches you to do the head accurately, and the figure drawing is where you put it all together. It's no wonder I was growing so slowly at Tech. You just don't get this depth of knowledge and experience.

Here are the teacher's drawings...



And Mine...



--Will

Watermelon

So I drew this kid the other day at Legoland. I asked him what he wanted to be drawn as. He looks at me, straight-faced and says without hesitation, "A watermelon." I put my pen down briefly to start to draw and then it finally registers that he just said he wanted to be drawn as a watermelon. I look over to the mom and ask... "Did he just say... he wants to be drawn as a watermelon?" Her head is bowed and her forehead is resting in the cleft of her hand, she shakes her head and says reluctantly, "Yes... draw him as a watermelon." Apparently she's been through this before. I start to draw for a minute and I just can't resist. "So, how long have you wanted to BE a watermelon?" I ask him, thinking this is a joke. "Since I was little." replies the 2 year old. I look over to the Mom, still shaking her head reluctantly and now laughing a little. "I don't know where it started, but ever since he could talk.. he tells people... he wants to be... a watermelon."

So that's the story of how I drew a kid as a watermelon.

--Will

New Sketch and Video

I was driving to work this morning and I saw the coolest thing. Letting my mind run wild I imagined it to be a dragon riding in the back of a truck. But that's how I am sometimes. Right click and save target to watch. MOVIE.

And one of the girls I work with in Caricatures asked me this morning to do a drawing of Nightcrawler for her. One I've never drawn Nightcrawler and two I could barely remember what he looked like. Luckily I had dozens of kids walking past to help me out. "Hey that's the blue guy from Xmen!" (Oh right... he's blue). Anyways, I think it turned out pretty good. Accept the bunny ears he's doing. That's a little strange.


--Will