Something's Missing...

Ever since I've been back I've felt that way. I think I left my heart in San Diego... as cliche' as that sounds. Somewhere on those rocky cliffs over-looking the pacific ocean. I left a part of me behind. Because nothing feels the same here any longer. My students, though passionate and engaging - are only partly of interest any more. The caricatures seem pointless and futile, in comparison to the market and support I could be getting somewhere else. Even my friends and family, whom I love greatly... seem to be somewhere far way from me. It's all very bittersweet. It seems, these days that my only solace has been found while painting, and drawing. Which I suppose is at least comforting.

"You keep adding stones and soon the water will be lost in the well."

I've put a lot into this town. Into loving everything about it. Appreciating all it's little nuances and hidden treasures. But it feels like I've reached the limits of what this town has to offer me. Or more likely... I've realized that I've reached MY limits of what I have to offer this town. For years now I have craved a mentor... a new standard, an example of success to learn from. And after a few days of being submersed in an entire microcosm that embodies that, and speaking with dozens of success stories in San Diego, I know I'm in the wrong place. And I no longer want to be here. My hearts just not in it. And it seems as though God is sending some pretty hard core signals my way these days, all of which seem to be pushing me down this path..

There's just a different way of thinking in Lubbock. It seems like people "dream big" but don't "think big." I can't count the number of big dreams I've heard from the people around me. But the number of success are less than a handful. I think it comes from the way things are set up here. I realized from having my friend Jay from Houston here how different things really are. When we were living in Houston and we got a wild-hare to do something, we'd go to 7 or 8 different stores looking into it. Theres dozens of comic shops, model shops and any type of shop you can imagine, the resources and options are much more plentiful. But here... if you want to do something, it takes a lot of balls, and a lot of leg work to get ANYthing done. No wonder everything's half-assed here. But whatever. And I can't even imagine growing up here and knowing only that. If I hadn't spent all my time growing up in Dallas, Denver and Houston, I'd feel pretty fucked, pretty apathetic and narrow-minded. Not saying that's how everyone here is... just how I would probably be. I would feel so stifled if I'd never known all the resource i've known in other places. And then to compare that to the success I've seen in individuals in San Diego... it's just hard to come back to Lubbock.

Anyways, Just so everyone is clear... I know that San Diego isn't going to fix me. It simply offers more opportunities to succede. I know I have to work on the issues that have held me back my entire life before I go, or else they'll just follow me wherever I end up... That's what baggage does right?

I guess this is sort of a disclaimer, I'm not going to be talking a lot about San Diego here on out. Not here or around my friends. I hate the awkwardness that surrounds the issue. I'll just quietly work and prepare myself and leave when it's time to go. But I hate long goodbyes, and I definitely hate the awkwardness. I WILL probably be going through my baggage though. Because that affects me no matter WHERE I am.

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con - Day FOUR

SATURDAY

Still feeling kind of checked out of the con, I didn't hit nearly as many panels on Saturday either. I did spend a little time wandering around the convention though. I bought a few great books that I'd been looking forward to. One was FLIGHT from a group of 7 fantastic artists. They're all very talented people still trying to break into the industry. Anyways, I'd been tracking the progress of the book for months on several of the artists websites independently, but when I actually saw it in print I had to grab it. The colors in the book are amazing and well worth checking out if you get the chance. I also picked up a couple books from another artist named Sam Hiti who I've been a fan of for some time. I've loved his website for about a year now, and check it pretty regularly for his fantastic wacky style of art.

And then last I picked up a couple of art instruction books that I'd lost back when I had the studio. Will Eisner's Comics and the Sequential Art and Scott Macloud's Understanding Comics. For the life of me I couldn't remember where they went. I bought the Eisner book last year at Comic-con and never even got the chance to read it. Then suddenly as I'm checking out from Bud Plant's booth I flash back to last year. I finally remember Rod loaning them to his girlfriend just before they broke up. When he was still trying to get her to do comics. So I guess they are forever lost to the void of ex-girlfriend land. Not the first time, I lost another $50 bucks worth of books to another of his former flames as well. Guess I need to keep a tighter leesh on my library. C'est La Vie.

I ended the Convention day with Jeff Watt's Panel on Gestural Portrait painting. It was fantastic to see an entire painting done in less than an hour. And to hear the instruction that went along with it. I can imagine taking an entire semester of classes in the same vein. Too bad I was so frazzled from the long weekend to truly absorb it. Luckily though I got the entire thing on video to watch at a later time, in a more lucid state of mind.

After the show we all decided to drive up to L.A. It was probably a mistake, seeing as how it took nearly 2 and a half hours just to drive there, and it was already late when we started. But I think we were all of the mind that it may be a LONG time before we get the opportunity to check it out again. I was very impressed with the size of the city. That goes without saying. But it was very overwhelming. I consider myself a city boy. I love cities... but this was too much. It didn't help that I heard Gunshots ten minutes into town, and police helicopters hovering nearby overhead with their searchlights blazing. Nope. Not so much. We drove down Sunset, and Beverly Hills. Lots of pretty people, lots of showing off, lots of arrogance. Not really my thing. The word that kept running through my mind was Juvenile. Kids showing off... even late into their 40's. Like some "big-swinging dick" competition. So we left. Spent maybe an hour in town. I know it's not really fair to base the opinion of an entire city on one hour. But whatever.

San Diego has a very small town feel to it. Despite being such a big city. It seems like the more I go there the more it feels that way. But LA... LA is HUGE... I'd say it were 5 times the size of the Dallas/Ft Worth Metroplex if I had to guess. The buildings were taller, the lights were brighter, and the entire thing is surrounded by these hills and mountains, all of which are inundated with more cities. But it was the people that mostly got to me. The other drivers, the asshole cops at every turn, the trendy dilettantes primping for each other... the general attitude of everyone we came across. Juvenile. But that's just me. Needless to say, we headed back to San Diego pretty quickly and crashed out for the night.

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con - Day THREE

FRIDAY

After the conclusions I'd come to by the end of day TWO of the convention. I sort of felt "done" with the show. I was ready to just go home and get back to work. Start saving money and planning the task of moving my life 1500 miles away. It's been years since I went to a convention for any reason other than business. I don't buy stuff, I rarely buy anything other than supplies, how-to books or other artists sketchbooks. I'm not there for autographs or rare items. I'm there to network, learn and become a better artist. But after realizing that I hadn't necessarily been doing anything wrong these past few years, that I was perhaps in the wrong place - wrong environment - wrong people. I started to look back on the last 7 years of my career. Placing it all on the west coast... how different it would have been. Instead of ONE comic book store in town there would be 30. Instead of traveling 8 hours for the nearest convention I would have dozens within 2 hours of me. Instead of having to travel semi-annually to get critiques on my work from other artists, I would be completely surrounded by a community of artists better than me, pushing me, challenging me, making me grow. But "What-If? ing" only drives you MAD after time. It's just that it hit me like a scene in some horror movie, when you suddenly realize that everything you ever knew to be true was a lie. It's hard to recover from that quickly.

Luckily beaches have wonderful recuperative properties. Waves lapping at your feet, sunsets, and that soothing sound of the tides crashing around you. Especially Torrey Pines. It's probably one of the most beautiful beaches I'd ever seen... granted the number of beaches I've been to can be counted on one hand. But still.

I did manage to spend some time at the convention. But out of the 20 or so panels I was planning to check out, I only managed 2 of them. The first was Jeff Smith's Panel discussing the completion of his 55 issue independently published series BONE. I suppose it's appropriate this was one of the only panels I caught. Bone was a big reason for me starting down the self-publishing path. He was also the first student of Dave Sim's (Cerebus) self-publishing wisdom, to really implement all the tools that Dave developed. He was and still is one of the most successful examples of the entire self-publishing process. Jay and I both started into comics when Bone was first beginning. I remember the first issue hitting shelves. I remember the first graphic novel collection. I also remember how ground-breaking it was that someone collected all their books into a thick book to resale. Its common practice now. But at the time it was revolutionary. I mean, Dave had done it for years, but no one considered it outside of Cerebus. That is till Bone came along.

Anyways, seeing him with his $100, single volume, Leather bound, HardCover collection of the entire 55 issue series made a lot of things clear to me. He set out 10 years ago to do a series. He spent ten years doing it, and now it is finished. It's as simple and clear cut as that. The man can now retire if he wanted to. He's not... but he could. It's an impressive idea to say the least. And to make things even more spectacular, he is the spear head of a new movement. Scholastic books have picked up bone to start a new line of graphic novels to sell to schools. It is a monumental breakthrough for our industry. It means Jeff is going from selling 30,000 copies a month of his book... to Millions. Imagine that change. And it was totally unexpected. He was done. He had no more plans for the book and now this. Fantastic.

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con - Day TWO

So this is just a disclaimer. The next 4 or 5 posts may be a little boring. They're mostly my journal from the convention, lots of business observation and industry babble. So forgive the mundane nature for the next few days. But who knows.. maybe you're into that sort of thing.

THURSDAY

This year we took the train to the convention center each day. I was all about making this years trip as low stress as possible. And avoiding the Comic-Con's crazy-ass parking and traffic was high on my priorities. Interestingly enough, SD expanded their trolley system quite a bit in the last year. And there was a station at the mall about a mile from our hotel. So we each bought 5-day passes and used them to our full advantage. Very convenient. That and there's just something fun about riding a train every day.

So we each had stuff we wanted to do at the show. Jays' a big game design buff. He even went to the Arts Institute of Houston for a few years learning to do just that, as well as animation. So the comic-con was a great experience for him. It's funny that he and I went to our first real convention together back in high school. It was neat to share in this Con with him all these years later. So after wandering around together for a little while we split up. Adrienne and I spent most of the first day together while Jay went off to do his thing.

I started off with a "networking" seminar. It turns out I'd been to it before, in fact I'd been to it at my very first Comic-Con and he was handing out the same (albeit useful) information as he was back then. But it was redundant for me, so I left, and ended up standing around in the hall outside the room talking with Adrienne. When suddenly someone comes running up to me asking me where the DC portfolio reviews were being held. As I was thumbing through the program book looking for the info he started showing me and Addy his portfolio. I couldn't resist, I started into a critique and started giving him some loose tutorials right there on the floor in the hall. It was funny. We actually started to draw a small crowd. Then as we're getting up to leave I suddenly realize that we were sitting in the exact same spot I got my first critique back in 97. Right there in the middle of the hallway sitting cross-legged with a small crowd gathering round. Full Circle.

Anyways, for me - there seemed to be a common theme running through the entire show. It started with the first panel of the day (that I actually stuck around) with Stephen Silver. Silver is an animation designer. He does character designs for a lot of my favorite shows. Kim Possible being number one. He did all the character designs for the first two seasons. Anyways, somewhere around the middle of his panel he started talking about doing caricatures. It seemed to come out of the blue, but then it became a central theme. He said that doing caricatures, at parks, and malls and theme parks is what he attributes a strong part of his success to. And he kept emphasizing that everyone in the audience get into it as a career. Then he went into saying the same thing about life-drawing. The funny part is that some of it was verbatim what I had said to the artist in the hall. It's always interesting when you get reinforced that you seem to be on the right track.

Continuing with the Theme. Later on I found myself in front of the Watts Atelier booth asking some questions. Court Jones was the instructor that started asking me questions. Turns out he teaches Caricatures at the Atelier. And he spent the last few years working as a caricature artist at SeaWorld San Diego. He, like Silver, went on to say that Caricatures was one of the best things that ever happened to him artistically. He also mentioned what it was like doing caricatures at Sea World. They pretty much do it all for you, they give you the supplies, the tools, the training and they hold your hand and give you an enormous support group of other artists to bounce styles and skills off of. I was drooling at the thought of having, not just one other artist around to encourage me and challenge me to draw better, but 25. I kick my ass every week at the flea market to try and make a small living and teach myself these skills. And these guys have it handed to them in a neat little package, and where they can earn $250 a day in the summer. So the theme... as you can see... is that I'm definitely in the wrong place.

It seemed to repeat over and over all weekend. From the ShaneGlines Sketchbook group - full of professional animators I might add - meeting once a week at a coffee shop to just "draw!" To the Atelier, full of working animators, game designers, conceptual artists and professional comic book artists "already" working in the industry. Throw in sea world, where I'd be doing what I'm doing already, but getting real support (and money) for it. I am most definitely, unquestionably, irrefutibly... in the wrong place.

I've craved artistic camaraderie for years. I've done everything I can think of to make it work in Lubbock. I've tutored, published, apprenticed, networked, and supported every artist I've run across. Just in hopes of finding a handful of artists to compete, and grow with. And out of the hundred or so artists I've worked with over the last 8 years... well, I'm still alone. For whatever reason. Lubbock may be cheaper, and more convenient to live in than San Diego... but it sure as hell isn't worth what you have to give up. At least that's what I'm finally realizing.

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con - Day ONE

So this is just a disclaimer. The next 4 or 5 posts may be a little boring. They're mostly my journal from the convention, lots of business observation and industry babble. So forgive the mundane nature for the next few days. But who knows.. maybe you're into that sort of thing.

WEDNESDAY

My tradition for going to San Diego is to drive. It's a bit of insanity mixed with the love of the road. It's a 24 hour drive from Lubbock to San Diego. But if timed well you can hit some gorgeous countryside, and get to the coast in time to check into the Hotel and Convention early and have time to just relax about. Our timing was off by about 3 hours early this time around. That is, for everything except pulling up to the sound of waves crashing on the cliffs at 6 am in an misty magical overcast morning. That made the entire trip... to that point and any point after... completely worth while to me. In fact, the last year finally felt worth while after 10 minutes of sitting on this cliffside. It's funny the things you crave after living in a desert for so long.

Anyways, we were way early for everything the rest of the day. Too early to get badges, too early to get a room, we were even too early to go to the outdoor mall. Everything was closed. But whatever. Better early than late. So it was dragass-wednesday, the entire first half of the day. In the evening, Adrienne crashed out, she hadn't had any sleep at all, not even in the car for some reason. So I took Jay to preview night at the Comic-Con. We walked around the convention floor and I showed him where everything, and everyone was. It turned out better this way I think, so he wasn't completely overwhelmed going at it alone when this monster show finally opened on Thursday. We got lots of free stuff, talked to some of the Shane Glines Artist group from LA and wrapped the evening with chatting a little with Mike Mignola and getting sketches in his Convention exclusive Hellboy sketchbook.

afterwards Jay and I drove up to Encinidas to check out the Jeff Watts Atelier. It's an art school designed after the old masters way of teaching art. I've been wanting to check this place out for the last couple years, actually... ever since my first Comic-Con in '97. I don't know what it was. Maybe San Diego tempting me, or me wanting to be tempted. But there was something magical about being there. The school's tucked away in a small center at the top of a steep hill in this California mountain. The mist was still prominent and all around as we leaned against the car in front of the school talking. The doors to the building were open and light streamed out carrying the echoes of teaching voices from within. I walked into the front office to admire the incredible framed sketches adorning the walls. Listening to the instruction from down the hall. One of the outer classrooms was also open and I peeked in to see the dozen or so students enthralled in the night's lesson. I soaked in the atmosphere for a good 20-30 minutes before we finally sloaked away, back down the mountain.

It was a good first day. Very low stress, very comforting. A complete contrast to the madness of last years show. And it pretty much stayed that way the entire trip.

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con - BACK AGAIN!!!

We got back from the trip this morning around 6 am. The trip was fantastic. I would put it up there as one of my all time favorites. And it was hella better than last year. Last year kind of sucked the more I think about it. Anyways, lots of pictures, lots of video and lots to say. The trip was terrific.

Now getting back to Lubbock sucked hardcore. This has been one of the crappiest days I've had in a looong time. I try to keep things into perspective. Crappiness tends to be an indicator that the universe is in hardcore guidance mode, single handedly tailoring the path I'm on to guide me in the right direction. That's what I keep telling myself at least. It's not so easy to think that way when the craptitude is really ripe.

Anyways, before I blog about the Con, and what I'm taking away from the whole experience, I think I need to let it sit and simmer for a few days to make sure what I was thinking is what I think I'm thinking. You know... life changing decisions and all. I will say this though - I can check off 12 of the 27 things I wanted to do while I'm 27 (see 1/28 journal). And I've still got 3 months to go.

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con

Couple things. I'm heading out to the Comic-Con in the morning with my girl Adrienne and my best friend from Houston Jay Fleming. I'm so looking forward to this trip. I kinda wish we coulda left a few days ago, but hey, no worries. I'll take lots of pictures and upload them as soon as I get back. I'm stoked, I'm gonna talk to some editors and other artists and pitch a couple stories to a few publishers while I'm there. And best of all, I'm gonna attend as many panels as I can. That's my favorite part.

Second. My best friend Brandon finally has his own blog. Visit "Oops... I arted!" now. It's not just a blog, he's posting weekly cartoon strips. So far he's got about 10. He's trying to make each one better than the last. So go check out his site, give him some comments and good feedback, and check back regularly. He's a great guy and deserves all sorts of lovin. So share the love.

--Will

APPLESEED!!!!!!

My all-time favorite Manga and Anime Appleseed is being made into a new movie. Completely done in CGI. It looks so gorgeous. The animation on this is so crisp, and the colors are beautiful. Everything I'd envisioned the Manga to be. I hope they show this at the Comic-Con.

Here's a couple previews.

The strange thing about the series, is that even though the Manga came out in the late 80's early 90's it seems remarkably relevant to the times now. Some of Massamune Shirrow's themes throughout much of the series - is all about Muslim extremism - and how the west had ignored it for so long, that they became the scourge that could no longer be avoided. Suicide bombers, Religious fanaticism, and the wests obliviousness to it all. It's amazing how he pegged it so long ago... then again maybe it's not, it's pretty much always been this bad, but now it's our blood being spilled.
--Will

Comic Art Classes - Week Two

I taught my second couple of classes today. I never got around to writing about the first class. I love teaching. I always have. I guess it's in my blood; my family has a long line of teachers. My grandfather was not only a teacher, but he was even superintendent of a school district. So it's just in my nature. But I rarely feel worthy of the mantle. It has always felt like I was someone that knew just a little more about some things than those around me, but I had some minute difference in my genetic make-up that puts a wild-hare up my ass to make me think I should share what I know. But today was different. Everything was clear. The words came with ease, phrasing and re-phrasing to pass along little nuggets of knowledge. And for the first time I felt like I truly had a firm grasp on not only drawing anatomy, but teaching it. Michelangelo I am not. But I am definitely far from where I was the first time I attempted to share my wisdom.

Anyways, I try to remain humble about this all. It often seems like the moment I feel I have a grasp on something, the substance changes and it sifts through my fingers. But a small part of me finds great pride in the fact, that some of these kids might one day become one of the greats of our industry. And they'll look back on their lives and say "that guy" helped me do this. I guess a legacy of sorts. I am the hopeless optimist. Finding potential in every seed. Doing what I can to nurture and provide what I know for it to grow. In hopes that one day I may sit in the shade of some great oak that lasts through the ages.

Then again... maybe its just what I always wanted for myself.

--Will

New Look

I've decided to change the look of my blog. I know... 'bout time. I always meant to make it look a little nicer. But I figured content was better than style. But I guess after all is said and done I'm still a whore to the mainstream. Yay!

--Will

San Diego Comic-Con 2004

I'm stoked. I just got my confirmation for my Comic-Con convention badge. It looks like everything is ready to go now. Hotel, Car and Con reservations are all set. My best friend from Houston Jay Flemming (whom I haven't seen in nearly 10 years) is coming into town Sat to drive down to the show with us. My lovely girlfriend's got clearance for her to go. And somehow... Miraculously, I've come up with more than enough money for me to go. From random commissions, caricatures and a last minute surge in people registering for my Saturday classes. The only downside... now that everythings good to go.. I can't wait to get going. Consequently I can hardly focus on what I need to be doing from now until Tuesday when we leave.

Oh well.

By the way, it looks like my eBay sales thingy bombed. I had a couple of bids, but it was for the utmost minimum. I think people may not even be bothering to bid because there is a hidden reserve price. I don't know a lot about this eBay crap, and I'm probably too impestuous to put in the time it takes to figure it out. Maybe if I sold prints of my work, so that I wouldn't have to worry about a reserve price, people would be less hesitant to bid? I don't know. There's a couple seminars at the Comic-Con about selling art through eBay, I'll check them out to see if it's worth the trouble. I know some guys that make $1000 a month off of little pen/ink sketches on eBay. Stuff that takes them about 30 minute each. So its worth considering.

I'm sort of waiting for the comic-con before I make any new decisions... or reaffirm some old ones. Is that wrong? I think I'll have to talk about that more later. It's a big thought puddle I need to sort through pretty soon. But later.

Also, my girlfriend left a little note on my car today. It was sweet. Made me smile. Don't know why I needed to share that.

--Will

Life Drawing - Week Four

This week, life drawing really sucked for me. I'm not really sure what it was. I guess I just couldn't get my head in the game. Anyways, these are the only three that didn't make me vomit my inards from repulsion of their ickynessity. I know they look... ok, but they didn't feel good, and they don't look as good as they should have. But whatever. Maybe next time will be better.



--Will

County Fair Poster

I just finished this commission poster. I'm starting to get more commissions lately. So that's good. Hopefully the trend will continue. I really enjoyed doing this drawing and thought I'd share it with ya'll. I think it turned out pretty good.



--Will

Ebay Auction

I'm taking my first foray into online sales today. I'm starting to sell a bunch of my old artwork on ebay. Never done Ebay before. So I'm a little nervous.. little excited. But you never know till you try, right? Here's hoping people don't just like my stuff... they wants to BUY my stuff.



--Will

Life Drawing - Week Three

I love life drawing. It's like taking a deep breath. I always feel sort of like I'm holding my breath and really focusing when I'm drawing from my head. But when I'm drawing from life, there is no thinking, there is no stress. It's just seeing, and reacting. Letting your hand move freely with the pencil the way it's always wanted, but was too frustrated to do from my own head.

This week saw some great breakthroughs I think. I'm really going deeper into the figure, trying to capture more shadows, tones and foreshortening. I still need to go bigger and with different media. But it will have to wait till I've got more cash to throw around. By the way, the last drawing is not actually from life, it's from a photo sometime last week. But I liked it anyways.



--Will

Funny